My name is Kate and I just wanted to share with you one of my most traumatic experience I have had in my life:
2 years ago on Nov 12th, 2012 I welcomed to the world my beautiful daughter. I waited so long for the day I get to hold my baby in my arms. My dream soon enough turned into my worst nightmare. My daughter came 1 weeks before the due date and I rushed to the hospital together with my sister in law as soon as we went into the labour department the nurses were extremely rude and very disrespectful it seem like maybe they had a bad day. The nurse rushed me to lay on one of the beds and I was told to put on one of those hospital gowns. Nurses started to come in and they told me that my daughter poop inside and it was very risky because she could suffocate in her own water. Even though they told me that it did not seem like it was that dangerous to them. A nurse came in every 30 mins to an hour to go a cervix exam those nurses stick they whole hand inside me and I screamed in excruciating pain every time they were rough and I never felt so humiliated in my life to have all this people putting their nasty hands inside me and do it so rough. The pain was so bad and they did not even try to do it nicely and it was not supposed to be with their whole hand just 2 fingers the most. It was a nightmare the pain was worst than the labour pains. They treated me like crap, yelled at me and kept repeating that I was not dying I was just in labour so I would not get special treatments. That night I started to have panic attacks every time I saw a nurse because I was so afraid they will do it again and I was having so much anxiety. After a few hours I finally got the epidural which they had to do it twice because the 1st time they did not do it properly. then the pushing time came the nurse that was in the new room with me alone was nice and I felt comfortable with her but it did not last long. My doctor came in and started to boss everyone around like and scream at me asking me why am I not done yet… I felt intimidated by him. He just sat down on his chair and started to rush me to push. I know I had to push but you gotta understand I felt nothing from my waist down I had not idea what I was doing it was my 1st child and I was alone. My stress lever were so high I wanted to leave so bad and go somewhere else. He was there for 10 mins and started to get frustrated and he said he was tired and wanted to go home so I better hurry up. You fucker I am having my 1st baby if you wanted to go home then go!! I wanted to punch this guy in the face. My labour was only 5 hours and he came at the end so he cannot complain… My baby got stuck between my legs because her head was too big and she was turning purple that is when the doctor started to yell even more and I could not feel a thing!! he gave me a episotomy after I told him no to do that and my daughter almost die. She finally came out and I got to hold my baby for the 1st time but it was not special anymore. I just wanted to run and cry I was so humiliated. It was not special. After that my placenta got stuck and this doctor put his hand inside so hard I screamed and he took the placenta out. Is it so hard for doctors and nurses to be gentle? But to complete my trauma this “doctor” which I call “Breast Dressed As Man” started to stitch me up when I realize the epidural was done and I felt everything and when I told him and he said “You do not need anesthesia because is only 5 stitches” This beast started to stitch me up raw and I felt every time the needle went in and out of my open vagina as I screamed in excruciating pain the whole time. It was inhuman to stitch someone up specially in parts were the pain is 100 times worse. He treated me worse than an animal! He watched me screaming in pain. I ask myself all the time would that doctor like for me to cut his penis and stitch him up the same he did with me? Would he liked that? Did he enjoyed watching me in so much pain while he stitched up my vagina. How can you do that to someone? The cut was deep I could feel the needle going in and out of my flesh. My special day is a day that I want to forget but it haunts me every night and it has already been 2 years.
It took me 4 weeks to recover from all that trauma in my private parts but after 2 years I cannot have a sexual relationship because I am in so much pain, I cannot sleep, I get panic attacks from flashbacks and I now got Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. When I think about it I feel angry, humiliated, violated, sad and I cannot remember that day without crying. How can this people go to bed after everything they have done? I am human and I feel for God’s sakes!! Is it so hard to be nice to someone, to be helpful and to be gentle to other people? This doctor was more busy to go home and maybe watch his fav show than being committed to the job he signed up for. Just because they work long hours and they wanna go home gives them the right to treat people like crap. They did not speak to me and it was hard for me to get info about what was going on or what were they doing.
The funny thing is this doctor was my doctor who I visited my whole pregnancy and I knew him. He did not seem to care when I went to see him but when you are pregnancy getting a new specialist takes couple of month so you get stuck with bad doctors.
Giving birth a beautiful experience and a new chapter in people’s life but now I know that a sweet experience can turn sour very quickly.
I hope to connect with people who have been thru something similar and maybe I get justices for what they did to me. Thank you Credit Valley for ruining my life the pain I can still feel it.